I just started writing down a few things that I need to remember when I’m having a “bad mummy” day. You know the days, right? You’ve had argument after argument. You realise you forgot to wash their school jumper and it still has dinner down the front. Or any of a thousand variations on those themes.
These are the things I should remember to stay sane on those days. Other suggestions are welcome! 🙂
- It is possible to do “being a parent” wrong. It is not possible to do “being a child” wrong. If I need my child’s behaviour to change, then it has to start with my behaviour changing.
- Even if I’m doing everything right, I will still have arguments with my child. In fact, if I’m never arguing with my child, I’m almost certainly doing something wrong.
- It is not possible to do everything right.
- “Quality time” is not about educational activities, it’s about focusing on my child. I need to put away my phone, my blackberry, my worries, my expectations, and pay attention to what my child wants to tell me.
- The only way to be a sane parent is to look after myself as well as my child. Plus, my child needs to know that other people have needs too.
- There is no such thing as “all my work being done”. That is equally true of my job and the housework.
- Whatever I do, someone will disapprove, and someone else will know a better way. Several of these people will be in my own family. I’m still entitled to make my own choices.
- The best moments ever aren’t the ones I planned. They’re the ones when I just suddenly notice how incredibly lucky I am. I need to leave time to do that.
And, above all:
- There is no such thing as a perfect mummy. There will always be “bad mummy” days. And my child will be just fine anyway.